Chickpea Mistake

On the continuing theme of repenting one’s mistakes before the Jewish New Year begins, I give you the somewhat original recipe that I call Chickpea Mistake.  But, in this case the lesson is not recognize the mistake and repent, but to recognize, as a certain major Judeo/Christian deity did in the story of Abraham/Sarah/Hagar/Ishmael told at this time of year (you may look it up on Wikipedia), the mistake will serve a purpose later on and it may not be worth mentioning at all.  Plus, your mistake can be eaten.

The ingredients:  chickpeas (one can, canned), rice (cooked, about 1 cup, of sticky Asian variety), herbs (mint and parsley), garlic (smelly and diced), tomatoes (crushed, also canned), peas (a handful, frozen and microwaved), cumin (dusty) and olive oil (yummy, and only a teaspoon or two because we're not making falafel). 

Make the meatless meatball mash by pulsing the chickpeas in the food processor with mint and parsley, salt and pepper, remove to a bowl and mix with the rice. 

If you make the first attempt to form balls at this stage, as I did, the balls will dry and fall apart when heated in the olive oil with garlic (browned).  Please eat the first mistake, if you make it.

Before attempting again, add about two teaspoons of crushed tomatoes to the mixture of until it is the consistency of chopped meat, form into balls, set aside.  Heat your pan, add oil and the diced garlic.  Now, add the balls to the hot, garlicky oil.  This will give you a fried mash that may settle into a state that is not quite a ball, not quite a patty, but that's good enough. 

When nicely browned, put the chickpea “mistake” in a bowl. Scrape all the crunchy mix of browned garlic and stray rice off the bottom of the pan and dump it over the mistake. Ignore any sudden concern that the husband/significant other/food critic will not want to eat this.  Soldier on, please.   Add peas, a dollop of crushed tomato and sprinkle of cumin.  Reheat in the microwave when the husband/significant other/food critic comes in the door.  Serve with side salad.

When the husband/significant other/food critic asks you what it is say “Bukharan Vegetarian Meatball” because references to Uzbekistan always throw people off.  When he asks if you made this, as opposed to your best friend Trader Joe, say yes.  When he asks you if the recipe is so and so’s, claim it as your own.  It will turn out that he likes Bukharan Vegetarian Meatball and will want you to make it again.

P.S. Chickpeas are a food traditionally served for the Jewish New Year.  The shape and color of the ball/patties are, coincidentally, symbolic of coins, to bring wealth and happiness.  If you like this recipe, go ahead and serve it.  Your guests who may be following vegetarian/vegan diets will love it.